It's a Girl's World

If he is late for class, he is told

"Time and Tide wait for none".

If she is late, then the bus was late.

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If a girl is dressed as a boy, she is modern, says the world.

But if a boy is dressed as a girl, " Has he escaped from the Zoo?"

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If a boy talks with a girl, "I think he is trying for her"

But if a girl talks with a boy, then she is trying to be friendly.

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When a girl cries, the world is convinced of her

But when a boy cries, "Come on man! Don't be a girl".

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If a girl meets with an accident, then it's the mistake of others.

And if a boy meets with an accident, "I think you should learn to drive".

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If a boy sits in front of a city bus, he is manner less and cultureless brute.

But if a girl sits in the back seat, "Try to respect ladies, man!".

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If a boy gets a big rank in an entrance exam, "You've to work hard".

But if a girl gets a big rank,... Still got 33! Reservation.

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If there are girls in a class, the professor gives an interesting lecture,

And if there are no girls, he says, there is no class today.

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If a girl does not answer during a viva, then atleast 'smile' says the examiner.

But when a boy does not answer," better luck next time"

Struct professional { 

    double styles; 

    Short skirts; 

    Void knowledge; 

    Char ununderstand; 

} 

Struct married { 

    double weight; 

    Short tempered; 

    void speech; 

    Char unstable; 

} 

Struct engaged { 

    double timeonphone; 

    Short attentiononwork; 

    Long boast; 

    Void understanding; 

} 

Struct newly_married_ females { 

    double dinnerinvitation; 

    Short timeatwork; 

    Long lunchbreak; 

    Void bankbalance; 

} 

Struct husband_wife_ professionals { 

    double income; 

    Short tempered; 

    Long notimesee_eachother; 

    Void life; 

    Char money_making; 

} 

Struct beautiful_city_ girl { 

    double boyfriends; 

    Short affairs; 

    Long stories; 

    Void greymatter; 

    Char dating; 

} 

Struct old_lady { 

    Short memory; 

    Long sighs ; 

    Void attention_from_ men; 

} 

Husbnd & Wife

dono ghoomne gaye

Raste meiN 1 gadha

Ghas kha raha tha

Wife:

Dekho ji dekho !!

apke rishtedaar !!! Namaste boliye

Husband:

NAMASTE SASUR JEE

1. Speak to people:-

There is nothing as nice as a

cheerful greeting.

2. Smile:-

 It takes 72 muscles to frown

 only 14 to smile.

3. Call People by name:-

Everyone is pleased when you

remember their name.

4. Be friendly and helpful:-

and others will respond in like manner.

5.  Speak and act:-

 As if everything you do were a genuine pleasure.

6.  Be generous:-

with praise-cautions with criticism.

7.  Be Considerate:-

with the feelings of others,

it will be appreciated.

8.  Be Thoughtful:-

of the opinions of others,

there are 3 sides of any controversy- yours,

 the other person and the right one.

9.  Be genuinely:-

Interested in people.

10.  Be willing:- to give service,

 what counts most in life is what we do for others

Software engineer and his wife

Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?

Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.

Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning

Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.

Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.

Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.

Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.

Husband - by default.

Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?

Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.

Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?

Husband - the only user with write permission.

Wife - what is my value in your life?

Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?

Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - I will go to my dad's house.

Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.

Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.

Wife - it is worthless talking to you.

Husband - shut down the computer.

Wife - I am going

Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer 

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY

CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

CANDIDATE : MATRIC PASS

OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW

CANDIDATE : M P. SIR

OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW

CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE. ...?

OFFICER : MP !!!

CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?

OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED... ......... .....!!!! !!!!!!!!!